Testimony of Missy

Effects of Abortion

Testimony of Missy Smith

During my first marriage (the first year that we were married),

I had a very premature baby girl named Cait Marie, who weighed

1 lb. She was born on Good Friday and died on Easter Sunday,

because of an IUD. The next year, our daughter Marjorie (now 41

years old) was born, also prematurely, weighing 2 lbs. Gigi (now

41 years old) was born the next year, weighing 5 lbs. The

children's father became sick emotionally, and didn't speak

for months at a time. I didn't understand depression and

my husband didn't want to try and work things out so the marriage

fell apart, leaving me with a 1 year old and a 2 year old.

In 1971, I found myself with a failed marriage and two small

children. The man I was now in love with assured me not

to worry about getting pregnant because we were getting married,

so I stopped using the pill. When I became pregnant, he panicked

and refused to marry me. He pressured me into having an

abortion.

He drove me to the hospital and returned later to drop me off

at home. I was emotionally sick. Even though I was told it was

not a baby, just a piece of tissue, something took over my

body and mind that I had never felt before. I was at the bottom

of a dark pit and I couldn't get out. I hated myself and hated

the father more. He had been my knight in shining armor.

He had been everything to me and now I loathed him.

For sometime I wouldn't see him. After awhile I gave into his

begging me to marry him and I did. I didn't trust him and life

was not easy. Our relationship was not respectful. We hurt

each other often. We had more children and one in particular

was a boy born with Down's Syndrome. The pediatrician

suggested they push his basinet to the side of the nursery and

not feed him. It was in this process that my husband

redeemed himself in my eyes for he loved our child and

protected him from harm. He gave him his name and fought

for his life. Our son was sick and the next six years were

filled with doctors, hospitalizations and surgeries. All the

time our family was being pulled more closely together

and becoming more healthy thru "heaven's very special

child"; an imperfect child in the world's eyes but in our eyes

pure love. We had five children and life was better.

I had pushed down those feelings so many years ago and

my destructive behavior had dissipated. I became defensively

pro-choice. Ten surgeries had helped make our special child

whole. When I became pregnant for the eighth time, I wondered

if I could handle anymore. I did the unthinkable - which was

conventional wisdom, and aborted. Everyone was so

understanding. They thought it was a good idea. I even got my

tubes tied.

Within moments of the surgery, I found myself in that dark,

black hole again. I suddenly remembered those feelings of

self-hatred from eight years before. They were connected!

Time passed and I again pushed those feelings down. My

heart had hardened.

March 16, 1993, our special son was walking with his friends

at school around the gym when he had a massive heart

attack and suddenly died. He was nineteen years old. At

that moment, my life changed. The scales slowly fell off my

eyes. I saw my abortions as true sins and I went on a

pilgrimage to a very holy place. I went to the sacrament of

confession and started on my spiritual journey. I offered

myself up to the Lord to be used as He saw fit. I realized

that all of life was precious, at every stage. I joined a lay

religious group and had a spiritual advisor and my life became

very God-centered.

God is working in a mighty way and all we have had to do

is to speak the truth. Giving our own testimonies is powerful.

Yes, the post-abortive woman is the prophet of today -

listen to her.

__________________________________________

Missy Smith is the Washington, DC State Team Leader for
Operation Outcry and a full-time prolife activist who founded
WAKEUP - Women Against the Killing and Exploitation of
Unprotected Persons. Today WAKEUP has a chastity
program called "Chastity the New Sexual Revolution" and
she speaks to school children. WAKEUP also started a
men's accountability program in Front Royal, Virginia that
goes from parish to parish trying to bring men back to being
real men to lead, protect and provide. Missy also counsels
women who are considering abortion in front of abortion
facilities on the physical, emotional and spiritual harm of
abortion and has been successful in saving women and
babies lives just by being there and praying.

EAGLES RESTORATION MINISTRIES

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31