In 1983, in Houston, Texas, I was 15 years old in the 10th grade in high school. After being forced into sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, I realized after a few weeks that I became pregnant. The boyfriend and I had already broken up from the relationship.
I went to Planned Parenthood to get a 'free' pregnancy test to confirm that I was pregnant. They told me that at this stage of only 5 weeks of pregnancy, 'it' was only a blob of tissue. They also suggested that I could have an abortion, since I was so young and still in school.
After speaking with my sister and several friends at school, I decided to have an abortion, since everybody told me that it was really 'no big deal, people do it all the time, especially since you're still in school'. I was thinking how terrible it would be to try to go to school pregnant, like others I had seen.
I was covered with shame and guilt, even before the abortion took place. When I told my ex boyfriend that I was pregnant and needed money for an abortion, he denied that he was the father, which deepened my shame.
Around October 1983, my Mom and sister took me to an abortion facility - my Mom had overheard me talking on the phone to my sister about being pregnant. My Mom, like me, knew absolutely nothing of what an abortion actually did to a baby or the woman.
Emotionally, I spiraled into a very destructive behavior of drugs, alcohol and promiscuous sex almost immediately following the abortion. I was completely spiritually void, rebelling against my Christian upbringing. I also became emotionally numb, with not much regard for living at all. As I was going through the motions, trying to fill this huge void within me, I attached myself to an abusive relationship less than a year after the abortion.
My Dad was an evangelist, so I was too fearful to ever tell him about the abortion, until almost 20 years later. When I told him, he was devastated that he had lost a grandchild. I married the man that was already abusing me, as a result of extremely low self esteem. I attempted suicide as a result of recurring depression.
The abortion ruined all chances of having children. I suffered 5 miscarriages during my marriage of 18 years, which resulted in divorce. Three of these miscarriages were tubal pregnancies, requiring emergency surgery and very near death experiences. I so wanted an 'atonement' baby to make up for the one I killed. I also battled breast cancer in 2014 (research has proven that abortion can cause breast cancer). You can read more of my breast cancer story at the bottom of the main "Effects of Abortion" page.
Abortion was the most selfish decision I ever made in my whole life. It affected everyone in my life and caused devastation to my mind, soul and body.
There is healing for broken hearts and lives after abortion, through the love and forgiveness of Jesus Christ. His work at the cross of Calvary removes all shame, bitterness, self hatred and sin, if we only believe and receive Him in our hearts.
I pray that anyone reading this testimony, that is considering abortion for their self or someone else, would consider seeking help through a pregnancy care center that will share the truth in love about all of your options by calling:
The Heartbeat International's OptionLine
I pray also that anyone reading this testimony that has suffered the experiences of abortion for yourself or a loved one would seek immediate help by calling:
The National Helpline for Abortion Recovery
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